The perversity of the failure lies in the fact that you always feel it as being your own and easily you come to blame yourself for it, even if you clearly know that other people are responsible for it.
Because the failure comes upon you each time and thus throws you in a state of loneliness, while the success raises you among other people and guarantees you a place among them which is somehow not your own place.
When you try to recover yourself from the failure, you discover that you need to deny yourself for being again among other people. The self-denial can be tempered only when you see that the things around you and your abilities can replace at some length the need of social reintegration.
Otherwise, the optimistic encouragements you may receive from other people may be forms of destroying you a second time, since the loneliness you got from the failure is also stolen from you.